Fear.

All of my mentors have said, fear obscures the path to your best life. In the past, I understood this, but really never “stepped through” my fears. This past week, I took the plunge. I wanted to buy a 2nd computer for my growing business. I only use Macs. They are expensive. So I looked for a used one. Bingo, a great deal on Kijiji. What that heck is Kijiji? It’s like Craig’s list - local deals made in person.

Ok, so I have to meet this guy. $2,000 cash. He’s got a computer, I have cash. I arrange for a friend to come, with. Don’t want to get mugged. Times are tough. The meeting place got confused... too far for my friend to come, he’s watching the kids. Wife is working crazy hours. Can’t do it.

Dilemma - do I let the deal evaporate or just push through my fear? My friends says, “Since you’ve been coaching me, I just ask people stuff that is on my mind. Call him and ask him why he called you from 5 different phone numbers. Express your concern.” - OK. Thinking, driving... driving a brand new car... something else to get stolen. Have the entire business in the car. This is not a good idea.

I call. We talk. He explains he’s working two jobs and was trying to protect himself from scammers himself. Has a wife and children to protect. I hear children in the background. He offers to move the meeting up 1 hour. I agree.

It’s a beautiful day, sitting outside Starbucks. A mixed neighborhood, very different than the world I live in out in the ‘burbs. Vibrant in it’s own way.

He arrives, we talk, we work on the computer. We talk more. Common interests. Common backgrounds. He’s in a crisis, I’m on a growth path. I have what he needs, he has what I need. Fear evaporates, opportunity floods in.

We are becoming good friends. He is having a difficult time and pushing though his fears. I’m having a busy, crazy busy time and doing the same.

Fear - False Evidence Appearing Real.

Humans are notoriously bad at seeing the difference between a genuinely scary situation and a fake one. Martha Beck’s famous book “Finding Your Own Northstar” has a full chapter on how to get better at recognizing the difference. You can order it from the Books section on this site.