My wife Patty has the best intuition of anyone I know. We felt strongly that spending as much time as possible with our son as he grew up was the only way to give him a good start in life. My wife decided to take a job in a large school district as my son was spending more time in school because they would have the same schedule. While in this position for nearly a decade, she learned a lot about how schools work and we’ve always felt something is amiss. This weekend the subject of tenure came up and a friendly debate ensued.

On Sunday morning, we discussed the matter ourselves and the issue of the “No Child left Behind Act” was added to the mix. More lively discussion ensued, then I got a vision of a system that is measuring education, but still producing too many children ill equipped for today’s complex world. The teachers are responsible to teach, the parents are responsible to send children to school and magically, the child comes out prepared to be a productive member of society. Simple, right? It doesn’t seem to be working that way. Why? Then I realized what is amiss.

America has a great education system, it is free and available to all citizens until the child enters young adulthood. This is a rare thing in history. In 1938, Napolean Hill published the book “Think and be Rich”. He states that you should pay for education yourself, otherwise you won’t value the opportunity and therefore won’t apply yourself completely to the task at hand. Additionally, it is widely known that paying attention to something causes it to change. Focusing on improving tests scores will do just that, make test scores improve. Nobody is focusing helping the child become prepared for life. I ask again, who is raising our children? Seems like nobody. What has happened?

I assert that parents are confused by the following dogma: 1) all children must be educated, 2) you must send your children to school, 3) schools are free and available in every community, 4) education is expensive, 5) the best schools are in the best neighborhoods. This causes people to work hard, spending LESS time with their children all in an effort to give them a “better education”.

Learning is experiential. This requires spending time with the child, period.

It is not possible to teach a person to think. Thinking is a side effect of doing, which comes from experience. You do something you learn it. Someone does something around you, you learn that too. Someone does something to you, you learn that too. A properly conditioned mind will serve a child well. This requires consistent positive experiences. This is the education all parents are responsible to give their children. The education system is a toolbox, nothing more.

No parent can teach their child everything they need to know. However, all parents can take responsibility to make best use of the tools at hand. This is where the “education system” is failing. The education system is complex, it does not come with an instruction manual. Maybe it should.

Imagine if it did. It would be simple. As the child grows, the parents attend classes in parallel. In these classes the parent learns the tools available and what experiences the child should have during development. The parent, child and education work in concert to provide these experiences in a consistent manner. The behavior of the child determines if the program is working. The program is adjusted to meet the CHILD’S needs.

How is it measured you may ask? Simple, watch the child’s behavior. A happy child will spontaneously focus on doing things they enjoy and do them for long hours. A successful childhood allows the child to explore as many things as possible to find things they enjoy and want to follow into a career. A career is valuable if it solves a problem or provides something people value and want. Given the right experiences, every child can lead happy productive lives following this approach. Then, truly, no child will be left behind.